Inspiration, Social, Uncategorized

FAILURE

Failure is something that is hard to deal with. It   isn’t a feeling I am used to.You know when you are used to being the best at what you do, failure comes as a surprise and hits you in the face when you least expect it.

Alright so I had been studying for a major exams and I ain’t gonna lie, i didn’t joke with my studies, I went all out. i stayed up late studying, making notes, you know the whole drill. Yo! It hit it me like a storm when I opened my email  only to find out that i failed.

My first reaction was anger, well lets start with the setting i was in. I am a big foodie so obviously I was having lunch and yo the food was dope! Fried-rice, grilled chicken, salad and natural juice combo(pineapple, orange and ginger).Oh and kelewele! You may not know what it is but kelewele is one dope street food in Ghana. Its made from ripe plantain coated in spices and fried to perfection. The food was really good and was everything at the moment I was having it.

I was in my happy place but of course I had to ruin it when I heard the alert sound from my phone. I hurriedly opened the email and went through all the instructions, literally having a huge knot in my tummy. So I opened it and realized I had failed.This was literally the first time I had failed a major exam. I was in shock! I made it through medical school only to end up failing after. Bruh! My whole world came crushing at this point! The taste of the fantastic meal i was having changed, now the food was too bitter to eat.I immediately went home and sobbed like a baby. I didn’t know what to do or say, I was just weak(physically, mentally and emotionally).

I started thinking about how I was going to explain this  failure to my parents or my friends. Everyone had so much faith in me and I had let them down terribly. I wasn’t ready to talk to anyone or be around people. I didn’t want to see people being happy or trying to explain to me that failure is a stepping stone because I really wasn’t having it.

After a while I told  myself I was done with medicine and I was ready to start pursuing my love for food, I was ready to become a baker. Don’t get me wrong I know I can do both but i felt like such a failure you know. I just wanted something that will love me back and not make me feel this terrible. Cake makes me happy so why not? I told my friends to basically leave me alone because why not?

I sat down after sometime and decided to analyze all the advice and encouragement I had been given. One really struck me, “You have a pulse, you’re alive then its not the end. You can still do something about it.” As the Dali Lama said,

If you don’t have a problem… then don’t worry.

If you have a problem, but you can’t do something about it….then don’t worry.

If you have a problem and you can do something about it …then don’t worry.

I realized i could not let  failure win, I had to stop doubting myself. I had to remind myself I am my biggest cheerleader and i had to sit up and take on this new obstacle. It was more like, if I don’t do it then who will. Failure was causing me to doubt myself and see the worst in myself, now it was up to me to make the most of it or just wallow in self pity. I know it might sound cliché  but  one thing is for sure when you fail at something you have all the experiences and lessons with you for life basically giving you a stepping stone to do better.

Trying to gather yourself and encourage yourself after failing is hard but you gotta dust yourself up and remind yourself about how awesome you are. Remind yourself about all your achievements, remind yourself about how far you’ve come in life and the goals you’ve reached. You’ve made it so far in life because you never gave up so why give up now? Get up and dust yourself up baby! You’re one awesome, kick ass warrior! Just remember to use every single muscle to make sure the next time you kick serious ass! Do everything in your power not to feel this emotion again.xo

 

Inspiration, Uncategorized

Be Strong In The Lord – LP Aida Lyrics

A great door is open unto you
But there are many adversaries
Be strong in the Lord 
And courageous 

Rise up today 
And take your journey
You must pass over 
The river Anon

Behold I have given 
Into thy hand
Sihon the Amorite

The king of Heshbon

I have given you his land
Contend with him in battle
No city will be too strong for you

You gotta take new territory 
Take new territory 
Take new territory

Woah

A great door is open unto you
And there are many adversaries
Be strong in the Lord 
And courageous 

Maintain your aim
Sustain the mission
In times of peace
Be ready for war
Fight extremes with extremes
Surprise your enemy

Outthink your enemy
Extinguish your enemy
Strike like lightning
Overcome superior enemies 

And be strong
And courageous (2*)

A great door is open unto you
And there are many adversaries
Be strong in the Lord 
And courageous 

Defend yourself
Know your enemy
Humble your enemy
Know your invisible enemy
Surround your enemy and be decisive
Be united at all levels
Against superior enemies
Eliminate disloyalty
Don’t deal with your enemy in the spirit of benevolence

Be courageous
Be strong 
And courageous 

A great door is open unto you
And there are many adversaries
Be strong in the Lord 
And courageous (2*)
Be strong in the Lord 

Uncategorized

StAy CoMpLaCeNt???

C.S Lewis once said, “Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different?”

I never understood that quote as I do now. Every day when I awake, I see nothing changing. I feel like the same Christian, with the same fire, the same sarcastic yet shy individual I’ve always been.

BUT, a conversation with a friend a few days ago made me realize…it wasn’t so.

I am not who I was five years ago, my interests, my conversations, my friends, everything has changed; some for the best, others…not so much. I am not as smart as I thought but then again, is anyone ever?

I believe that this season of SIP (Season of Intense Prayer), has opened my eyes to things. I’ve had dreams, I’ve had tears. I’ve had nights of solitude and I’ve had laughs. There are so many dreams I want to accomplish, yet I see myself failing to. So many aspirations and dreams…unfulfilled. My pastor once said, “Sometimes you don’t get what you want because you’re not angry enough.”

I wondered “What do you mean?” I’m angry about what I’m going through and my incapability to change anything I love, so what do you mean I am not angry enough?

Then he said, “You have accepted certain situations as how it will always be. Content with an average and complacent life.” Then it hit me, I have no drive to move ahead…  I just want to try a little here, a little there and just see if I like it. And for a season I’m in love with that idea…that dream, but then I want nothing to do with it after a season. I don’t want to ever become more than average, I want to know just enough to pass by, enough to get an A in class, enough to impress those around but this “little-here-little-there” is hurting my soul because I feel like I’m never good enough.

So this year, I have decided to take it upon myself, to do new things, to walk new journies and to hopefully move away from this mind of complacency and average is all I’ll ever achieve.

2018 will be a year to step out of my comfort zone and try things I never have:

  1. Go bald at least once
  2. Learn to swim
  3. Wake up early

These will be some of the few. To some, it may seem ridiculous, but my ability to take these first few steps might result in me doing something greater, and I can’t wait to find out what it will be.

                                                                                                   Signed,

WillowWoods

 

Uncategorized

Reckless Abandonment

Ever fall in love so completely you find yourself losing the sense of who you are ? Sacrificing all you are and stand for ? Seeing the mistakes pile up but being so sure of your conviction? Taking a bold stand to pursue this love to see it to its perfect end some might say. Sadly,this kind of love towards man ,usually leaves you longing and hollow at the end of the day. It makes you feel lost and empty like a part of you has been gushed out . You might even come in time to hate love or the idea of love because as human as we are, we turn to be a bit extreme in our emotions and the giving of it.

Now, let me tell you a story . There was a girl who wondered why everytime she thought she found love she had to watch it turn sour, not because she didn’t give it her all. She always gave the best she could, she listened, she was supportive, the whole ordeal really but what she seeked wasn’t what was given at the end. There was a sesnse of being whole, and she craved it. She knew she’d been blessed with a bottomless pit of love to pour out to all those around her but she as a person knew she wasn’t whole. She didn’t feel fulfilled, she seeked approval from those around her, those she deemed worthy but that’s didn’t seem to help either.

She woke up oneday from a nightmare in the middle of the night and eventhough she hadn’t called her friend in a while,the first thing she did was call out His name and tell him to come around and just then, he leaves everything and rushes to her. When He arrived, she felt a rush of peace and happiness and comfort and protection flood into her and she snuggled into the most pleasant sleep she’d had in a while. It left her in deep thoughts considering what kind of love this was and why she felt such a source of peace and wholeness from this kind of love He gave. She wondered what will make Him drop everything and just come to her even though she had been neglecting him. She begun to compare him to the others who claimed to love her. She had felt love from people but she realized this was surely different and definetly one she hadn’t worked for,considering she liked to ignore him,not consciously though but she did anyway.

She then realized she was loved with the most desparate of loves, she was craved by Him. Just a 5 minute chat with Him left her feeling a sense of love and peace and just sheer happiness. She decided to turn the tables and try to atleast fall in love with him too besides he understood her, all her plans, all she longed to be, he kept her secrets, he knew her weakness and flaws yet he still loved her. With him no matter how sour their disagreements were, leaving his presence always left her being a better person, filled with confidence, peace and happiness.

She decided to take all she had, all she could offer to him,her dreams,her future, her profession, her heart, her very being and everything she considered to be precious to her. She sealed it all in a jar and went to meet him. She broke it all and bared herself , with nothing to hide and nothing to lose. She decided to be reckless one last time,after all she’d done it a couple of times for the wrong people.  Her decision left those around her shocked at the level of recklessness. They told her how she’d gone too far this time and how she needed to live and enjoy the life instead. She knew the move looked reckless and required her to sacrifice more than she ever thought she would need to but she was so sure He was the one that could fully complete her. And surely since she bared it all, she’s had no regrets. He’s not changed now that he has her fully, she still has that new love feeling and bubbling, she still swoons over him and he does same over her.

He gave her letters he had written for her with her in mind as he wrote them,for whenever she needed to hear from him,he gave her the best gift, a comforter to keep her comforted always and he was never busy to meet up or talk to her you know. He was the perfect lover. And obviously her love for each Him only kept growing and His love was deeper, sweeter and endless for her.

In the story you just read, you see her go from being incomplete to being complete. She went from feeling unloved to feeling loved, the name of the lover that made all this possible for her is Jesus Christ and oh how beautiful that name is.  The letters he wrote to her is the bible, the best comforter he gave to her is the holy spirit and his direct line is prayer. This is the love that deserves to be desparately wanted and be easily reckless in . With no fears of being left, alienated or fears of love turning sour or plainly not working. The thing with this story is , everyone can have this kind of love though it will require you to make sacrifices you might not necessarily like but in the end it’s going to be for your good. Jesus Christ loves you before you even before you think about reciprocating His love. It’s up to you to accept his love.Be recklessly abandoned in his love for you,it makes you complete.

.play this song and let love flood in

play this song and let love flood in

Social, Uncategorized

Tie The Knot

Hey y’all

So there are a few things I have come to realize as a 24yr old African female graduate and I will like to share with you. As an African female no matter where you find yourself, there’s a stigma of being married once you’re done with school and don’t get me wrong I personally think marriage is good but I also think if its not the right time and the right person don’t you dare get into it.

  • 1. Regret- Marriage isn’t meant to be a ’till you’re tired of each other’ thing. Marriage is a life time commitment. You don’t go into it because you think you can get out of it, when you can’t handle it anymore. So go into it without having regrets, go into it being sure of where you stand in the long run. If you’re going to regret it, then don’t do it. Save someone the stress of future unnecessary arguments, bitterness, anger and hurt.
  • 2. Pressure- You can be pressured into marriage, by society and even by yourself to attain everything by a certain age but take a step back and really look at the entirety of the situation. After the wedding everyone including your parents and your friends go home and you head home to your marriage. Can you handle it? Can you two support each other ? Can you say you can help each other, achieve each others dreams? If yes oh then by all means do it. But don’t ever feel pressured into something you are not ready for.
  • 3. Age – I don’t think theres a time frame to be married but I also think marrying young is  a good thing. Comes with both spiritual and physical benefits. So by all means if you’ve met the right person with the right conditions then hell yeah go for it and run with it. But don’t think you’re too young to marry or you’re getting too old so you need to just settle for marriage.

I am not against marriage at all but what I am against are  the misconceptions we have about females entering into marriage right after school. In a typical African setting, all you hear is ‘when are you getting married’ ? And its coming from a good place I believe but I also believe that there are dreams to be achieved and realized. Sometimes the one you love may not be the person to realize those dreams with. Then by all means don’t get into it. Yes it may hurt but it will be for that moment and well sometime after that. At that moment it could feel like the most terrible thing to ever happen but look into the future you want for yourself and the future they want for themselves.

Are your dreams similar? Do you have the same goals? Do you have the same principles? Do you want to live in the same country? Are you okay being married to someone from their background? Do you have the support system you need in them?

And note to self even when the truth hits you in the face it will be hard to accept it because obviously you want love to win but does it? Love is not enough for marriage to work! Its not I really wish it was. Then a lot of people will be married or will stay married. In the USA alone, about  50% of marriages have been predicted to end in divorce. I don’t think that was the goal when they got married. Most people wouldn’t have predicted their love for each other not holding them down.

You’ve been the one to answer all my prayers
Anytime I need You, I know that You’ll be there
‘Cause no one could ever love me like You could
I’m hoping that you’ll hear these prayers of mine
I’m hoping that we’ll be together for all times
‘Cause no one could ever love me like You could

https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/cecewinans/noone.html

The above is from a Cece Winas song “Noone”.

From the lyrics I came to realization of how God is the only one who can meet all the criteria we search for in someone to love. So don’t be unrealistic. Just thought i would share my view. Hey, we are not obligated to have the same views after all. xox

Divorce Sats-  http://www.apa.org/topics/divorce/

Inspiration, Uncategorized

Reflection

Sometimes its better to sit quietly and reflect on how far you’ve come and where you see yourself next. You realize how much love dwells within you, what you’re made of and who you really are.

I woke up today from a terrible dream and I decided not to freak out just decided to talk to God about it. I realized even if the dream happened it’s not the worst thing that would have happened to me and definitely wouldn’t be the last “terrible” thing to happen.

Every time a dream shatters or doesn’t come to pass, its not just failure or a set back as we wire ourselves to believe but rather its a stepping stone to where we wanna be and its part of what makes us who we are. We are a constitution of broken dreams and setbacks put together again by determination to get back on the journey we desire.

Often we prefer to just sit back and wallow in self pity and our failures but the idea and zeal that makes you get back up and put your self back out there takes the courage of a thousand people. No one knows the fight you have to fight or the arguments you have with yourself everyday about your ideas and the supposed future you see for yourself. Not forgetting the fights you have with the people around you trying to step on your dreams or with the people you can’t see your dreams being built with anymore because with the progress of your dreams, theirs will be shattered and you wouldn’t want to be the person who is held responsible for crushing someone’s dreams.

Look into your life and reflect on all the bad things that have happened that you have managed to overcome. How have you changed? In what way have you remained the same? What part of you are you glad you haven’t lost yet? Its all part of the battle called  life and I am sorry to say that its not the end yet, though we would wish it was. As long as we remain alive on this earth, the hurts, the failures, the hardships, they will continue to roll in like a storm but be the rainbow at the end of a storm. Decide to come out stronger than you’ve ever been and remain ‘you’ as much as you can because there’s beauty in being through the storm and coming out stronger and better and not letting defeat change who you are and your belief.

Do not hide out under your blanket when life doesn’t seem to be going according to plan, remember what you’ve overcome and remember you can make it through this one.xo

Social, Uncategorized

OPEN THOUGHTS

Hello everyone,

So I decided to stop writing for sometime. Things in my life were not working as well as i would have hoped for.  Funny thing about being “Grown Up” is thinking that everything is going to work, as smoothly as you would want, but that isn’t how life is,sadly.

No i cannot blog about the things everyone else blogs about not because i can’t per se but  i want to blog about things  i find passionate.  Yeah i like to make up and dress up but i don’t think i am good at blogging about that as i am about just putting down my thoughts ,that comes easier. I wouldn’t rule it out entirely, but just saying it’s not my main focus though that draws the crowd. Rather i would like to focus on self discovery and improvement.

So bear with me as i take you along my journey of self discovery and love and just overall health and peace of mind. It takes a lot to make everything work the way you would want them to, or to juggle it all. And sometimes we lose ourselves in the process and we tend to want to settle and just take what has been thrown at us.  I believe that settling can make you unhappy and it is something i would like to avoid. I don’t want to be sad about my life 10years from now because i made decisions today because i was afraid of the unknown and just settled.

I definitely do not know what the future holds but i know i want to be grow spiritually, mentally and emotionally. I am not talking about just any growth, I want a healthy growth. I want to make decisions because I am sure about them and I am willing to face the consequences. I do not want to make decisions because I want to please anyone per se or because I am being forced into it or because “I don’t want to be the one left out”.

I pray God gives me the strength to see it through and if you want to be part of this journey, you’re welcome to be part of the journey. You’re welcome to share your thoughts. xo