I remember the first day I got into Ukraine. Thinking of how long this medical school is going to be. I was already drained of every ounce of energy I had just by thinking about the years it was gonna take to achieve my aim. And this was just the beginning.
The years after that weren’t any easier for me, they became more challenging and difficult. Having heart breaks, feeling you weren’t good enough for the task ahead and doubting myself, asking if even I deserved to really be in med school.
Going through phases where I doubted the existence of God or His love. Falling deep into depression and seeing no way out. I figured ending it all will make the hurt go away and worst of all I pulled away from God and His unending love. Through all this phase I never failed a paper, not because I am smart, but because of grace.
I remember one night filled with so much hurt and bitterness I couldn’t recognize myself. I decided to have a heart to heart with God listening to Kevin Levar ‘A Heart That Forgives’. For the first time in a long time, I felt the rush of love and comfort overpower me and leave me in tears. I reconciled with God and I was clothed in grace.
The feeling of all your wrongs being covered, every tear being caught and all weaknesses being overlooked filled me. I was no longer broken but strengthened. Things didn’t suddenly just change but this time I had a new assurance and a friend with me which is the Holy Spirit.
Seeing myself today and realizing I officially become a medical doctor today, makes me so grateful for grace. I realize it’s what has made me who I am today and I am grateful.
Whatever it maybe that you’re going through, this is just a gentle reminder that ‘GRACE ALWAYS WINS’ no matter what! Be encouraged, xo!