Inspiration, Social, Uncategorized

FAILURE

Failure is something that is hard to deal with. It   isn’t a feeling I am used to.You know when you are used to being the best at what you do, failure comes as a surprise and hits you in the face when you least expect it.

Alright so I had been studying for a major exams and I ain’t gonna lie, i didn’t joke with my studies, I went all out. i stayed up late studying, making notes, you know the whole drill. Yo! It hit it me like a storm when I opened my email  only to find out that i failed.

My first reaction was anger, well lets start with the setting i was in. I am a big foodie so obviously I was having lunch and yo the food was dope! Fried-rice, grilled chicken, salad and natural juice combo(pineapple, orange and ginger).Oh and kelewele! You may not know what it is but kelewele is one dope street food in Ghana. Its made from ripe plantain coated in spices and fried to perfection. The food was really good and was everything at the moment I was having it.

I was in my happy place but of course I had to ruin it when I heard the alert sound from my phone. I hurriedly opened the email and went through all the instructions, literally having a huge knot in my tummy. So I opened it and realized I had failed.This was literally the first time I had failed a major exam. I was in shock! I made it through medical school only to end up failing after. Bruh! My whole world came crushing at this point! The taste of the fantastic meal i was having changed, now the food was too bitter to eat.I immediately went home and sobbed like a baby. I didn’t know what to do or say, I was just weak(physically, mentally and emotionally).

I started thinking about how I was going to explain this  failure to my parents or my friends. Everyone had so much faith in me and I had let them down terribly. I wasn’t ready to talk to anyone or be around people. I didn’t want to see people being happy or trying to explain to me that failure is a stepping stone because I really wasn’t having it.

After a while I told  myself I was done with medicine and I was ready to start pursuing my love for food, I was ready to become a baker. Don’t get me wrong I know I can do both but i felt like such a failure you know. I just wanted something that will love me back and not make me feel this terrible. Cake makes me happy so why not? I told my friends to basically leave me alone because why not?

I sat down after sometime and decided to analyze all the advice and encouragement I had been given. One really struck me, “You have a pulse, you’re alive then its not the end. You can still do something about it.” As the Dali Lama said,

If you don’t have a problem… then don’t worry.

If you have a problem, but you can’t do something about it….then don’t worry.

If you have a problem and you can do something about it …then don’t worry.

I realized i could not let  failure win, I had to stop doubting myself. I had to remind myself I am my biggest cheerleader and i had to sit up and take on this new obstacle. It was more like, if I don’t do it then who will. Failure was causing me to doubt myself and see the worst in myself, now it was up to me to make the most of it or just wallow in self pity. I know it might sound cliché  but  one thing is for sure when you fail at something you have all the experiences and lessons with you for life basically giving you a stepping stone to do better.

Trying to gather yourself and encourage yourself after failing is hard but you gotta dust yourself up and remind yourself about how awesome you are. Remind yourself about all your achievements, remind yourself about how far you’ve come in life and the goals you’ve reached. You’ve made it so far in life because you never gave up so why give up now? Get up and dust yourself up baby! You’re one awesome, kick ass warrior! Just remember to use every single muscle to make sure the next time you kick serious ass! Do everything in your power not to feel this emotion again.xo

 

Inspiration, Uncategorized

Be Strong In The Lord – LP Aida Lyrics

A great door is open unto you
But there are many adversaries
Be strong in the Lord 
And courageous 

Rise up today 
And take your journey
You must pass over 
The river Anon

Behold I have given 
Into thy hand
Sihon the Amorite

The king of Heshbon

I have given you his land
Contend with him in battle
No city will be too strong for you

You gotta take new territory 
Take new territory 
Take new territory

Woah

A great door is open unto you
And there are many adversaries
Be strong in the Lord 
And courageous 

Maintain your aim
Sustain the mission
In times of peace
Be ready for war
Fight extremes with extremes
Surprise your enemy

Outthink your enemy
Extinguish your enemy
Strike like lightning
Overcome superior enemies 

And be strong
And courageous (2*)

A great door is open unto you
And there are many adversaries
Be strong in the Lord 
And courageous 

Defend yourself
Know your enemy
Humble your enemy
Know your invisible enemy
Surround your enemy and be decisive
Be united at all levels
Against superior enemies
Eliminate disloyalty
Don’t deal with your enemy in the spirit of benevolence

Be courageous
Be strong 
And courageous 

A great door is open unto you
And there are many adversaries
Be strong in the Lord 
And courageous (2*)
Be strong in the Lord 

Inspiration, Uncategorized

Reflection

Sometimes its better to sit quietly and reflect on how far you’ve come and where you see yourself next. You realize how much love dwells within you, what you’re made of and who you really are.

I woke up today from a terrible dream and I decided not to freak out just decided to talk to God about it. I realized even if the dream happened it’s not the worst thing that would have happened to me and definitely wouldn’t be the last “terrible” thing to happen.

Every time a dream shatters or doesn’t come to pass, its not just failure or a set back as we wire ourselves to believe but rather its a stepping stone to where we wanna be and its part of what makes us who we are. We are a constitution of broken dreams and setbacks put together again by determination to get back on the journey we desire.

Often we prefer to just sit back and wallow in self pity and our failures but the idea and zeal that makes you get back up and put your self back out there takes the courage of a thousand people. No one knows the fight you have to fight or the arguments you have with yourself everyday about your ideas and the supposed future you see for yourself. Not forgetting the fights you have with the people around you trying to step on your dreams or with the people you can’t see your dreams being built with anymore because with the progress of your dreams, theirs will be shattered and you wouldn’t want to be the person who is held responsible for crushing someone’s dreams.

Look into your life and reflect on all the bad things that have happened that you have managed to overcome. How have you changed? In what way have you remained the same? What part of you are you glad you haven’t lost yet? Its all part of the battle called  life and I am sorry to say that its not the end yet, though we would wish it was. As long as we remain alive on this earth, the hurts, the failures, the hardships, they will continue to roll in like a storm but be the rainbow at the end of a storm. Decide to come out stronger than you’ve ever been and remain ‘you’ as much as you can because there’s beauty in being through the storm and coming out stronger and better and not letting defeat change who you are and your belief.

Do not hide out under your blanket when life doesn’t seem to be going according to plan, remember what you’ve overcome and remember you can make it through this one.xo

Inspiration, Uncategorized

CLOTHED IN GRACE

I remember the first day I got into Ukraine. Thinking of how long this medical school is going to be. I was already drained of every ounce of energy I had just by thinking about the years it was gonna take to achieve my aim. And this was just the beginning.

The years after that weren’t any easier for me, they became more challenging and difficult. Having heart breaks, feeling you weren’t good enough for the task ahead and doubting myself, asking if even I deserved to really be in med school.

Going through phases where I doubted the existence of God or His love. Falling deep into depression and seeing no way out. I figured ending it all will make the hurt go away and worst of all I pulled away from God and His unending love. Through all this phase I never failed a paper, not because I am smart, but because of grace.

I remember one night filled with so much hurt and bitterness I couldn’t recognize myself. I decided to have a heart to heart with God listening to Kevin Levar ‘A Heart That Forgives’. For the first time in a long time, I felt the rush of love and comfort overpower me and leave me in tears. I reconciled with God and I was clothed in grace.

The feeling of all your wrongs being covered, every tear being caught and all weaknesses being overlooked filled me. I was no longer broken but strengthened. Things didn’t suddenly just change but this time I had a new assurance and a friend with me which is the Holy Spirit.

Seeing myself today and realizing I officially become a medical doctor today, makes me so grateful for grace. I realize it’s what has made me who I am today and I am grateful.

Whatever it maybe that you’re going through, this is just a gentle reminder that ‘GRACE ALWAYS WINS’ no matter what! Be encouraged, xo!

Inspiration, Uncategorized

QUANTITY VS QUALITY

I heard a message from a friend and I was moved. When it comes to prayer we often seem to wonder if it matters how good our prayer lives are.

Lets look at it this way, how do we fall in love?

You become friends with a stranger. You realize you wanna talk to them everyday. You smile each time you get a message from them. You feel you’ve hit the jackpot if its a call. It starts from there. You move on to writing everyday, talking about all the random things in life. You get to know them better, learning about their secrets and what makes them who they are. What they hate and what makes them laugh. Now all this is achieved by having communication.

How do we then complain about not feeling God around? Why do we complain its hard to talk to him when we are not even trying to form a relationship with Him. How often do you talk to Him? Is it to fulfill ‘all righteousness’?, is it to make yourself fill better? is it because you need something from Him? Honestly that should not be the case.

To form a relationship with Him its important to give Him the attention He needs. The way you would want your boo all up in your business and spoiling you. You have to spoil Him too, with a good time. God enjoys dates too you know. Take the good book, be on your own enjoy the scenery whiles reading His words. Kneel down and say a prayer to Him. When you roll over in the morning and open your eyes say good morning to Him like you would say to your loved one.

All i am trying to say in this post is, God has feelings too. He wants you to spend time with Him and not just any time. He needs your undivided attention and He needs loads of it. Give it try, form a relationship with Him and try just as much as you would in an earthly relationship.

Inspiration, Uncategorized

The Mind

Hey lovelies,

I know it’s been a while now, am sorry about that but finals are almost here so it’s making it hard to keep up, but I definitely haven’t forgotten about you guys.

Today I want to talk about the mind. If it really is as influential as we are told to believe. You know, what ever we want to achieve we think about it first and then work on it . So our mind is an incubator. So yeah it is as powerful as we are told to believe.It will bring out what you put in it. If you put in it positivity it will bear positivity and if you put in negativity, you get negativity in return.

There are a lot of things that can influence your thoughts and all these can be found in the environment you put yourself in. Basically your environment is “The sum total of all surroundings of a living organism, including natural forces and other living things, which provide conditions for development and growth as well as of danger and damage.” according to the businessdictionary.Com.

So now what is in your environment? Is it conducive for you? Is your environment helping you birth your dreams? Or rather is it taking you away from them? Now one of the main things found in our environment are friends.  Are your friends building you up or tearing you down? Are they more concerned about what they will lose when you follow your dream, than helping you grow your dreams? Are their words bringing positivity and direction? or are they doing the opposite?

What are you reading? What are you listening to? What are you watching? Is it empowering you or is it making you doubt yourself? Is it making you see the light at the end of the tunnel? Or is it causing you to give up? Your eyes and ears are windows to your mind.  What you feed them is what will be produced.

So the mind as I said earlier is an incubator keeping and absorbing all that you feed it and sooner or later it’s products are going to be seen.  Lets take a pregnant woman for example, when she takes in seed no one knows, but as she keeps on incubating this seed in her you notice the growth of the seed till finally a child is born. What I am trying to say is, you are what you think about, you are what you feed your mind and definitely your mind is the most powerful incubator there is so feed it positivity and see where it leads you.

I am not saying even with all these, negative thoughts won’t come up. Oh they will come up but it isn’t your responsibility to not accept it. Once you accept that negative thought, it takes root in your mind and that is where the problems begin. So whenever those negative thoughts come up, rebuke them and speak positivity into your mind and life. Move from the environment that inhibits your growth, take the risk, bear the pain and see your dreams materialize.

Ultimately positivity is not just good for the mind, it’s good for your soul as well. My final thought is that the mind is truly as powerful as we are told it is, and with God and positivity there is nothing we cannot achieve.xox

Inspiration, Uncategorized

Flaws

I am definitely not perfect. I come with my flaws, i cannot seem to get rid of them. Frankly speaking i have tried but does that make me any less? Definitely not!

There is no perfect human, even if their looks make them seem perfect, they definitely have flaws in other areas. We all have something we are insecure about.

Your flaws are a part of you and you’re just as beautiful with them as you think you would be without them. If you’re black, your black is beautiful,  there’s no need to bleach to become something you’re not! Regardless of your skin tone, you’re beautiful! You got thin lips, so? Baby, you’re beautiful! You are no less than the gentleman or lady who just passed by you.

Fact is, if  you’re not happy about your flaws or if they’re affecting your health in one way or the other and you can work on them by all means, you should. Confidence is key and whatever takes your confidence takes your happiness, so do whatever you can to keep your head high without endangering your health. Example, I have extremely sensitively skin and had a lot of pimples. Yes I was  beautiful then but I didn’t feel I was, so I worked on it. I started taking care of my skin more and taking note of what made me break out. That is accepting my flaws but working to make it better.

Our flaws are part of who we are! Embrace them! Change what you can and own  what you can’t!xo